A recent social media post by user "molson 🧠⚙️" has sparked discussion by asserting that "Both the left and the right sell lies to young single people" regarding relationships and family formation. This commentary emerges as the average age of first marriage in the United States continues to rise, nearing 30 years old for both men and women. The post argues that prevalent societal narratives mislead young adults about the realities of long-term commitment and parenthood. This trend of delayed marriage and family formation is a significant demographic shift, with only 6% of U.S. adults married by age 21 in 2021, a sharp decline from one-third in 1980.
The tweet specifically targets advice given to young men, which the author describes as:
"if you’re kinda mean and tough you can bang plenty of girls, have multiple wives, and not deal with any of the emotional and physical maintenance of a relationship" The author counters this by stating: "For men, the truth is that being a man is hard." Online discussions on masculinity in relationships often emphasize leadership, emotional reliability, and commitment, contrasting with the "alpha male" stereotypes critiqued in the tweet. The post suggests that finding a committed partner and being present for one’s children are crucial duties for men.
For young women, the tweet criticizes a narrative it summarizes as:
"don’t worry girlboss, you can always freeze your eggs and have your kids at 48, live for now and have as much sex with noncommittal men as you want" This aligns with broader critiques of "girlboss" culture, which, while initially empowering, has been criticized for promoting an unsustainable hustle lifestyle and individual success over other life aspects. The author warns that for women: "every year you wait, it will be harder, more stressful, and more expensive to experience the greatest joy of your life: having children." This perspective highlights the biological realities often overlooked in career-focused narratives.
The increasing delay in marriage and parenthood is a well-documented trend, influenced by factors such as extended education, career focus, and financial stability concerns among young adults. Data indicates that the median age for first marriage has shifted significantly since 1960, with individuals prioritizing personal growth and professional milestones before considering family. This societal shift has implications for fertility rates and the reliance on assisted reproductive technologies, as well as broader discussions about the well-being of individuals and communities. Many young adults still aspire to marriage and children, but feel less societal pressure to marry early.
The tweet concludes by suggesting:
"There’s no money in selling the truth, because it’s hard to swallow," implying that market forces perpetuate these misleading narratives. Instead, the author advocates for young men and women to: "be looking as early as college for dependable high integrity intelligent life partners" This call to action emphasizes courage to act differently from "confused and deceived peers," framing early, committed partnership as a duty leading to a happier and more successful life.