James May, the beloved British television presenter and journalist, known for his calm demeanor and meticulous approach, has maintained a remarkably private yet steadfast romantic life. Unlike many public figures whose dating histories are a revolving door of partners, May's romantic journey has been defined by a singular, enduring relationship with Sarah Frater, an esteemed art and dance critic. Their partnership, spanning over two decades, stands as a testament to quiet commitment in the public eye.
May's early life and career ascent saw little public disclosure regarding his romantic entanglements. While details of any relationships prior to the turn of the millennium remain largely out of the public domain, May himself has often alluded to being a "late developer" in matters of the heart. This self-description suggests a period of personal growth and focus on his burgeoning career before settling into a long-term partnership.
The pivotal point in James May's romantic history arrived in 2000 when he began his relationship with Sarah Frater. Frater, a respected figure in the arts world, shares May's preference for a more private existence away from the intense media scrutiny that often accompanies celebrity relationships. While the exact circumstances of how they met are not widely publicized, their bond has clearly deepened over the years, forming the bedrock of May's personal life.
Their relationship is notable for its longevity despite the absence of a marriage certificate. For over 24 years, May and Frater have built a life together, choosing not to formalize their union through marriage. This decision has often been a point of public curiosity, with May occasionally offering insights into his perspective. He has consistently expressed contentment with their unmarried status, indicating that their commitment transcends traditional societal expectations.
One of the most significant milestones in their shared life was the construction of their home in Hammersmith, London. The couple undertook the ambitious project of building their residence from the ground up after demolishing the original property. This shared endeavor not only signifies their deep commitment but also highlights their collaborative spirit and desire to create a personal sanctuary together. They also maintain a second home in Wiltshire, offering a quieter retreat from city life.
May has been candid about his reasons for not having children with Frater. He has stated that his decision stems from a desire not to be an "unfair" or "weird" older father, considering his age. On the Driven podcast, he explained, > "I think it was just a result of life, let’s put that down to being a late developer." He has also referenced instances of much older fathers, such as Al Pacino, as examples, noting the potential for an age gap to create an unusual dynamic. Despite not having his own children, May embraces his role as an uncle, enjoying time with his nieces and nephews.
While largely private, the couple has made occasional public appearances together, offering glimpses into their quiet companionship. These rare outings reinforce the stability and genuine affection that underpins their long-standing relationship. Frater is also known to be good friends with Mindy Hammond, the wife of May's former Top Gear and Grand Tour co-star, Richard Hammond, indicating a blending of their personal lives with his professional circle.
Throughout his highly visible career, May has credited Frater with keeping him grounded. He has humorously mentioned that she judges him if he says anything pretentious, suggesting her role in maintaining his down-to-earth persona. This mutual respect and understanding appear to be key ingredients in their enduring partnership. Their relationship stands as a quiet counter-narrative to the often tumultuous romantic lives of other celebrities, emphasizing stability and shared values over public spectacle.
In recent years, May has continued to speak fondly of his relationship with Frater, confirming their ongoing happiness and commitment. He has encouraged men to "make the effort" in relationships, a sentiment that reflects his own dedication to his long-term partner. Their journey together, marked by discretion and a deep personal connection, continues to be a defining aspect of James May's life, showcasing a love story built on mutual respect and a shared vision of a private, fulfilling existence.