Anthony Bourdain, the celebrated chef, author, and television personality, was as known for his adventurous spirit and candid storytelling as he was for his complex and often intensely public romantic life. His relationships, spanning decades, mirrored the tumultuous and passionate journey of his career, leaving an indelible mark on his personal narrative.
His earliest and longest relationship began with Nancy Putkoski, his high school sweetheart. Bourdain met Putkoski, who was two years his senior and part of a "druggie crowd," at Dwight Englewood high school in the early 1970s. He was reportedly deeply smitten, even graduating a year early to follow her to Vassar College in 1973. While Bourdain eventually dropped out to pursue culinary arts, their relationship endured, culminating in their marriage in 1985.
Their union, which lasted 20 years, was characterized by a deep, co-dependent bond. Bourdain once likened their relationship to the film "Drugstore Cowboy," describing it as a shared adventure where they were "criminals together." However, as Bourdain's career ascended, particularly after the success of "Kitchen Confidential" and his subsequent television ventures, the demands of his travel schedule began to strain their marriage. Putkoski, a private person, reportedly viewed the increasing public scrutiny and Bourdain's constant absence as a "cancer" to their relationship. They separated in 2004 and finalized their divorce in 2005.
Following his divorce from Putkoski, Bourdain briefly dated writer Paula Froelich in 2005. Their relationship lasted only a few months, with Froelich later sharing that she didn't have particularly fond memories of their time together, hinting at Bourdain's internal struggles even then.
In 2007, Bourdain married his second wife, Ottavia Busia, a mixed martial artist and restaurant manager. They met through Bourdain's friend and fellow chef, Eric Ripert. Their relationship moved quickly, with the couple marrying and welcoming their daughter, Ariane, in the same year. Busia often described their marriage as "unconventional," largely due to Bourdain's extensive travel schedule, which kept him away for up to 250 days a year for his television shows like "No Reservations" and "Parts Unknown."
Despite the challenges posed by his career, Bourdain often spoke fondly of Busia and the profound impact fatherhood had on him. They even shared matching chef's knife tattoos. However, the constant separation eventually took its toll. In September 2016, after nine years of marriage, it was publicly confirmed that Bourdain and Busia had separated. They maintained an amicable relationship for the sake of their daughter, with Busia stating that their split was due to their differing lifestyles and the strain of his demanding career.
Shortly after his separation from Busia, Bourdain began a highly publicized and intense relationship with Italian actress and director Asia Argento. They met in 2016 while filming an episode of "Parts Unknown" in Rome. Bourdain was reportedly immediately captivated by Argento, who was about 20 years his junior. Their romance quickly became a central focus of Bourdain's life, with him publicly gushing about her on social media and in interviews, calling her "someone who is very precious to me."
Their relationship was passionate but also described by many close to Bourdain as "tumultuous" and "all-consuming." Bourdain became a vocal supporter of Argento during the #MeToo movement, especially after she publicly accused Harvey Weinstein of sexual assault. He championed her work and even pushed for her to direct an episode of "Parts Unknown." However, reports from unauthorized biographies and those close to him suggest the relationship was fraught with possessiveness and emotional intensity. Text messages revealed after Bourdain's death indicated a troubled dynamic, with Argento expressing she could no longer stay in the relationship due to his possessiveness.
The relationship with Argento garnered significant media attention, particularly in the months leading up to Bourdain's tragic death in June 2018. Photos of Argento with another man in Rome reportedly deeply upset Bourdain, leading to a final, painful exchange of texts. While the exact nature of their relationship at the very end remains a subject of debate and speculation among his friends and biographers, it is widely acknowledged that his intense connection with Asia Argento was a significant factor in his emotional state during his final years.