2-Year-Old's Self-Silencing of Cries Underscores Pervasive Impact of Emotional Suppression

An observation shared by Visakan Veerasamy on social media has highlighted the profound and often unintended influence of external messages on a child's emotional development. Despite his and his wife's concerted efforts to teach their 2-year-old son that crying is acceptable, the child has begun to internalize the phrase "don't cry" from relatives and strangers, repeating it to himself during moments of distress. This behavior has led Veerasamy to re-evaluate his understanding of emotional suppression in early childhood.

In a recent tweet, Veerasamy stated, > "my wife and i are v clear w each other and our 2yo son that it’s okay to cry. despite this, he’s heard 'don’t cry' so often from relatives and strangers that he now says it out loud to himself whenever he cries. it really makes me update my understanding of emotional suppression." This poignant account illustrates how deeply ingrained societal norms can shape a child's emotional responses, even when parents actively promote emotional openness.

Research consistently indicates that emotional suppression in children can have significant negative long-term effects. Studies show that suppressing emotions leaves negative emotional experiences intact and can lead to adverse psychological, social, and cognitive outcomes. These include increased anxiety, depression, lower self-esteem, and difficulties in forming healthy relationships later in life, as individuals may struggle to express feelings or trust others.

The pervasive nature of casual directives like "don't cry" from external figures, such as relatives and strangers, can inadvertently override parental guidance. Children, particularly at a young age, are highly susceptible to messages from their environment, internalizing these cues as rules for behavior. This can lead to a learned pattern of stifling natural emotional expressions, impacting their ability to develop healthy coping mechanisms.

This observation underscores the critical need for a broader societal awareness regarding the language used with children about their emotions. Fostering an environment where children feel safe to express their feelings without judgment is crucial for their emotional intelligence and overall well-being, mitigating the detrimental effects of learned emotional suppression.