Parents Embrace Childhood Independence Movement, Inspired by Haidt's "Anxious Generation"

A growing number of parents are re-evaluating traditional parenting approaches, encouraging greater independence in their children, a trend significantly influenced by social psychologist Jonathan Haidt's recent book, "The Anxious Generation." This movement advocates for a return to "play-based childhoods" and less digital immersion, prompting families to assign age-appropriate tasks to young children, such as independently ordering food. The shift comes amidst concerns over rising rates of anxiety and depression in adolescents.

Jonathan Haidt, a professor at New York University, argues in his bestselling book that a "great rewiring" of childhood occurred in the early 2010s due to the proliferation of smartphones and social media, coupled with "real-world over-parenting." He posits that this combination has led to an "epidemic of mental illness" among young people, characterized by digital under-parenting and a lack of opportunities for independent exploration and risk-taking. Haidt's work suggests that children need adversity and challenge to develop resilience and coping mechanisms.

The concept gained viral attention through a video shared by Utah-based mom Stephanie Reed, dubbed the "Chick-Fil-A mom." Inspired by Haidt's book, Reed tasked her 7-year-old son, Wells, with ordering dinner by himself at a Chick-fil-A. Reed documented the experience, stating, "The worst part is I can’t watch. No phone, no way to communicate with me… I can’t see if he’s in trouble." Wells successfully completed the task, returning with the order and expressing pride despite initial nerves.

This viral moment, alongside other examples like a child buying donuts alone, highlights a broader discussion among parents and experts about fostering self-reliance. Experts emphasize that allowing children to undertake age-appropriate tasks builds confidence, problem-solving skills, and resilience. Dr. Brook Choulet, a board-certified psychiatrist, notes that while age-appropriateness varies by child, such activities promote executive functioning and self-efficacy.

The movement encourages parents to overcome their own anxieties about "letting go" and provide children with opportunities for unsupervised play and independent tasks. Organizations like Let Grow, co-founded by Haidt, actively promote "reasonable childhood independence" and advocate for legislative changes to protect parents who allow their children more freedom. This collective action aims to rebuild the infrastructure of childhood, creating environments where children can thrive away from constant digital engagement and excessive parental oversight.